June 9, 2006
Network of Spiritual Progressives

Resisting the assault on homosexuals
by Rabbi Michael Lerner

Though the Senate failed to pass a motion to close debate on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, it received a majority vote (it needed 60 votes to close debate and 2/3 to pass the amendment). It will now be considered in the House.

Liberals are correct to say that the fuss about the Amendment is merely aimed at stirring up the passions of some of the most reactionary elements, and never had a chance of passing, the right-wing movement against homosexuals is very real and has had considerable success at the state level. Many states have passed legislation or referenda that target homosexuals in regard to marriage, and some are now moving beyond marriage to limit rights to adoption and other aspects of family life.

It's easy to point to the contractions in the stance of these people who claim to be interested in defending families from the assault they perceive from "the homosexual agenda." It wasn't too long ago that these same people claimed that they opposed that alleged "agenda" because homosexual sex was done in an irresponsible way—without the commitments that created stable families—so they should have been cheering when gays and lesbians began to build families and seek the same rights as heterosexual families. But for some people on the political right, it is homophobia, not support for families, that is the bottom line.

We at the Network of Spiritual Progressives (NSP) affirm unequivocally our support for gays and lesbians to have the same legal rights as heterosexuals. We believe that gay and lesbian families should be given full support, not only because of equal rights, but because their involvement in creating lasting bonds of love and caring strengthen the level of love and caring in our society and strengthen rather than weaken family life. The emerging models of families in the homosexual world also contribute to a new understanding that families are no longer defined by the models of the 1950s, but today come in many different shapes and forms. The key to family is love, and that love is at least as abundant in gay and lesbian families as it is in heterosexual families. Similarly, when homophobia is removed from the picture, children of homosexual families flourish at least as well as children from heterosexual families.

We in the NSP believe that every effort should be made to reject the campaigns currently being waged to legally ban gay and lesbian marriages. I am proud to say that as a rabbi with the Jewish renewal movement, I've been officiating at gay and lesbian marriages for the past nine years and continue to do so.

I believe that it would be a violation of both the first and fourteenth amendment to impose the religious views of some on the rest of the population and through that to deny them equal rights.

In my view, however, we need to start this discussion by acknowledging that the results of this equal rights struggle has been mixed. On the one hand, many liberals who strongly hold "equal rights" views and who can see the connection between this struggle and that of women and people of color have, as a result of the equal rights demand for gay marriage, become stronger and clearer that they must give their energies to support gays and lesbians. The powerful articulation of this view by the Massachusetts State Supreme Court makes many of us feel that eventually this view will predominate in American law and society.

But in the meantime, when faced with this issue, a very large number of Americans do not end up on the pro-rights side of the fence. They feel that there is something different about marriage that can't fully be encapsulated in the rhetoric of equal rights, and when pushed they start to question the very validity of a homosexual family.

I do not share their questioning, and believe, as said above, that families will be stronger if gays and lesbians are granted the same rights as everyone else in every relevant sphere. However, this view is not shared by the majority of Americans at this moment, and because of that the battle against gay marriage actually empowers the Right to win elections that then put them in the position of being able to cut benefits for the poor, continue the murderous war in Iraq, torture prisoners, undermine civil liberties, and do incalculable damage to the environment.

So, this is an issue that must be won—and it is an issue not only for gays and lesbians, but impacts on all people in the society, both because on moral grounds we should not allow the discrimination and because on practical political grounds to allow it is to empower right-wingers whose programs not only are immoral but destructive to all our interests and moral vision.

There are many who would agree with this up till here, but who say, "all the more reason why we must get out the word about equal rights for gays." No one in the NSP wants to hinder that effort, and we totally support those who are doing this work.

Yet we also have a question: Have you noticed that the efforts to wage this battle on the grounds of equal rights has not been working very well to reach those others who, when the polarizing comes, polarize against equal rights.

Now, if that happened to be a small minority, we might just shrug our shoulders and say "too bad." But actually it isn't a small minority, but rather a significant enough political force to weaken the entire liberal and progressive agenda.

So, from the standpoint of wanting to win these rights for gays and lesbians, the NSP is asking liberal and progressive people to consider that in addition to (not in substitution for) anything else that you are doing on this issue, that you also consider reframing the struggle with the following message:

"We realize that many Americans are legitimately concerned about the increase in selfishness, looking out for number one, materialism and extreme individualism that make it hard for people to sustain loving relationships. When people are only looking out for number one, families lose their sense of shared purpose and many people feel scared that the family, the only institution in our whole society that has the official goal of providing you with safety and security, is actually collapsing around us. Those fears are legitimate—but they are not caused by gays and lesbians who themselves are wanting to build strong families and would do so if the laws gave them the right to marry and build lasting families. People learn the selfishness and materialism because the work all day in an economy, often in huge corporations, that teach them that the "real world" is governed by a Bottom Line of money and power, and that your worth in the world depends on how much you can show your boss that directly or indirectly you will contribute to this materialistic bottom line.

"Do this year after year, learning to see others primarily in terms of how they can be of use for you so that you can maximize your own well-being, and no wonder that people come home each day believing that what is rational is just to look out for number one. And that makes love and commitment very difficult to sustain. So if we want strong families, we are not going to get them by attacking gays and lesbians or denying them the right to families—in fact, we're all better off when they themselves want families instead of staying in the marketplace of relationships and playing around. We should want them to have families, just as we want our heterosexual friends to have the benefits of families.

"But to sustain families, we need something totally different: we need A New Bottom Line in America so that institutions and corporations and government practices and laws get judged to be efficient and productive and rational not just because they maximize money or power, but also to the extent that they maximize love and caring, kindness and generosity, ethical and ecological sensitivity. Lets build a society that encourages us to see every other person as an embodiment of the sacred, and encourages us to respond to the grandeur of the universe with awe, gratitude and radical amazement.

"First step: oppose restrictions on gay and lesbian rights, and vote out of office people who are trying to divert your attention from the real struggle against selfishness and materialism to the phony struggle against gays and lesbians. Whatever political party they happen to be in.

"This public service message comes to you from the Network of Spiritual Progressives. We are a non-partisan force that seeks a world of love, generosity and kindness. Join us, and read our Spiritual Covenant with America on line at www.spiritualprogressives.org. We are the real pro-family voice in America."