The rights and wrongs of gay marriage

by Rev. John T. Crestwell Jr.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sadly, I am not surprised by the ruling by Maryland's highest court regarding same-sex marriage.

The decision was close (4-3), showing just how difficult this issue of marriage equality is in our state. It is not a difficult issue for me, though. Sexuality is a private matter.

Unfortunately, because of discrimination in the law and land, this has become a public matter; but even still, the answer is simple. This state must allow same-sex couples to be married or be in violation of the constitution of this state and the United States.

It is the job of the courts and government to make sure our right to the gift of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is protected. These words are not conferred to some citizens, but they are for all Americans. When our leaders say that homosexuals cannot be married, denying them more than 1,000 benefits that come with marriage, they are saying, "We believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for everyone except for gays and lesbians." This is wrong.

As a minister, I know that ministers have the right to marry whomever they wish. If an atheist couple comes to a particular church, the pastor may choose not to marry them. Under his church policy, the minister has that right. I won't argue there.

However, that same atheist couple can go to the courthouse and legally file papers to legitimize their love. They have that right. Hence, it is the job of the state and national government to ensure our civil rights are not violated. So we are talking about a legal issue, not a religious issue. That is the nuance here.

But the big issue is that too many of those in power today still believe this is a moral issue and cannot separate their private opinion (religion) from their public discourse (politics). It is tragic. I pray that in some not-so-distant future, more courageous leaders will emerge who will stand up for what is right and not for what is popular.

By the way, I am not gay. I am simply an advocate: a heterosexual minister with an open heart and mind. And I represent a religion that says to all, "Come, come whoever and wherever you are." I will not stand on the side of hatred and partiality, but my faith tells me that I must stand on the side of love. Discriminating against folks because of their sexual orientation is wrong, no matter how you spin it.

I am greatly disappointed in the lack of vision shown by four of our state judges, but I am not deterred because as the Unitarian William Cullen Bryant said, "No lie lives forever."