From Baltimore Gay Life

Opinion

Round One

by Meredith Moise

We are on our way. On August 30, the ACLU asked a Baltimore circuit court to strike down a law that bars granting marriage licenses to same sex couples. The threat of rain loomed but about 40-50 of us, proud LGBT citizens, stood in front of that courthouse in support of the nine couples and one widower who are suing the state to obtain marriage licenses. This day comes despite the governor's veto of the Medical Decision Making Act and a protest by anti-gay forces in Maryland in January. This day comes despite setbacks the movement suffered in the 2004 elections when 11 states passed anti-gay legislation. This day comes despite the hate-filled rhetoric of the right.

Round one has begun. The arguments for granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples are compelling. Firstly, the ACLU, Equality Maryland and fair-minded Marylanders believe that our state constitution mandates that all citizens be treated equally. We believe that the state cannot continue to treat same-sex couples unfairly by denying them marriage licenses. Secondly, LGBT couples are being denied vital protections based on sexual orientation. If we truly live in a free society, this willful exclusion cannot stand.

The state has argued that marriage has always been between members of the opposite sex. The state declares that there is no need to change this now. Of course we know that society's notions of marriage have continued to evolve throughout time. Let's remember that African Americans were denied the protections of marriage during slavery. Let's also recall that women were considered property in marriage. And even today, marriage continues to be redefined by people within it.

The right has argued that gays and lesbians seek to destroy the institution of marriage by finding ways to get married. The opposite is true. Gays and lesbians are not destroying marriage. In fact, by seeking to join the institution, gays and lesbians are strengthening the foundations of marriage and injecting new life into a dying institution. It is admirable that so many of us want to get married, despite the horrible images of marriage that have been presented to us. We can go on about horror stories that we have heard, seen or even experienced by so-called traditional marriage. But despite examples of failure, gays and lesbians still would like the opportunity to tie the knot.

Our desire for marriage is nothing extraordinary or strange. In fact, it is very simple. We want protections for our families. We want our children to be protected. We want our unions to be respected. Our commitments are not only valid but they are sacred. This is about love. Love is the driving force of this movement. These individuals have filed this lawsuit out of a sense of love and duty to themselves and their families. Ultimately, this case is about family and the recognition that all families need protection.

The right would like us to believe that gays and lesbians will destroy family as we have known it. However, the LGBT community knows and believes in family. Deane and Polyak vs. Conaway is about ensuring the survival of family by recognizing family in all of its diversity.

This society cannot continue to ignore gay and lesbian couples. There is an immeasurable social, spiritual, financial and emotional cost to ignoring the lives of millions of people based on ignorance and prejudice.

Our society will never be a well functioning whole until each citizen is treasured and respected. LGBT citizens are a vital part of this country and its culture. We are in every field of endeavor. Refusing to recognize our relationships is tantamount to ignoring who we are as human beings. We said it at Stonewall, we said throughout the AIDS crisis and we continue to say it now: We won't be ignored! To deny us - as neighbors, friends, family and ultimately citizens - the protections of marriage is wrong and morally reprehensible.

History will show that this case is about the expanding freedom and acknowledging the human need to be loved and protected. This is round one in a struggle that will take some years to win. We are determined to pursue justice and our community stands poised to see this through. We are united in our demand for recognition of our relationships and our families.

Meredith Moise is field organizer for Equality Maryland, the state's largest LGBT civil rights organization.