Family Spotlight:
Ric and BJ
Ric and I (Bj), met about 8 years ago in Baltimore. We kept running into each other around town, especially at a club called "P.T. Max," which is now called "The Gallery." Ric and I were attracted to each other but it wasn't anything more than a flirtation at that time. I would see him out and about, and would even walk up to him at the club, throw a lip lock on him, then walk off leaving him a bit stunned. I would always turn and wink at him to let him know that I still aware that he was around, and that he still had my attention. This lasted a little over a year or two, along with giving him an occasional phone call.
One night at the club, Ric offered me a ride home. I accepted and we ended up spending the night and talking. For a while afterwards, life took us in two different directions. By coincidence, we bumped into each other again in DC and found out that we lived in the same apartment complex. At this time he was involved with someone, as was I. Both relationships ended, but I again moved away.
Meanwhile, my health started to decline and after several years of misdiagnosis, I was diagnosed with a very severe form of cancer. During this time, I ran into Ric once again in DC. I didn't look good at all (my opinion) but Ric invited me to his house a few days later anyway. When I arrived, he saw me pulling up in the parking lot and getting out of my jeep on crutches. He was really, really concerned -- more concerned than I thought anyone would be, given that we had only seen each other here and there over the years. Ric asked me what had happened, and also asked me to be his lover. I told him that because of the spread of the disease, I had lost almost complete use of my legs and didn't know when that may change. I also told him that I didn't know how much longer I would have to live and suggested that he should find someone else. That is when he told me that regardless of my health issues, that I was the man he had always wanted, and that no matter what, we were going to be together. Soon after, my cancer was so severe that traditional treatments proved useless. I had agreed to take part in a clinical trial and be placed on experimental drugs at the the National Institutes of Health.
During the time that I was at NIH, I was hospitalized for thirty days. Ric came to see me EVERY SINGLE DAY, directly after work until visiting hours were closed at 10:00 PM. He would get home at 11:00 PM and then eat, do whatever, not getting to bed until about 12 midnight. He would then get up at 6:00 a.m, get to work by 8:30 a.m., and work until 5:00 p.m., only to come directly to NIH and repeat the cycle all over again. When I would wake up (because of the drugs, I was in and out), I would see him sitting next to me -- without fail. You could see the red in his eyes from not getting any real sleep but, regardless, he would do this every day. What devotion! I thought. That is when I knew for sure that he was the man for me.
Five years, two life saving heart operations, many medical visits, experimental drugs, one son, three pets, two cars and a mortgage later, we are still together. Now, we have made what has always been our dedication to each other official to all our friends and supporters by having a commitment ceremony and reception on March 20, 2005 in Lanham, Maryland. To show you how small this world can be, in planning the cereomony, we just happened to run into the spotlight couple from the month before us, Eric & Marlowe, at a birthday celebration. After chatting for a while, they expressed their wish to attend our celebration. Long story short, they also attended our nuptials.
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