Family Spotlight:
Karl and Tanner
We met 21 years ago in graduate school. Our lives are completely intertwined: we have totally blended all of our finances, jointly own our third home, and have drafted legal documents like wills and powers of attorney to help protect our relationship and health should anything happen to one of us. We've done what we can to establish our relationship, but no amount of paperwork carries the weight that marriage does.
Two summers ago we happened to be in Toronto for the American Library Association Conference right after the decision that legalized civil marriage for gay couples, so we decided to take advantage of this newfound equality. We were married in the Toronto City Hall on June 19. Besides being married in Toronto, we had a holy union ceremony at Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church in Nov 1993.
We are registered as domestic partners in Takoma Park (1993) and Madison, WI (1999). We only wish our marriage could be recognized here in Maryland—but it's all too clear that our marriage in Ontario means nothing here.
In Canada, after we married we suddenly had the hundreds of rights that we never had—if Tanner were to get sick in Canada, I could make decisions for him without having to show documentation. But as soon as we crossed the border back into Maryland, we lost all those rights we had just gained.
When we went back to Canada for vacation in August 2006, we had those rights again—for example, we rented a car together as a married couple, which saves money on car insurance. But when we returned, we were forced to fill out US Customs forms separately, since we don't count as family here.
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