Family Spotlight:
Jo and Teresa
Jo Deutsch and Teresa Williams met almost 28 years ago at a NOW Convention in South Carolina. We have been in a long-term committed relationship for 23 years and now live in Cheverly, MD. From the beginning of our relationship, we often talked about having children. After much talk and preparation, we now have three amazing children, Jacob (16), Matthew (12) and Bena (6).
We have the same concerns as all same-sexed couples with the added worries of protecting our three children. We are especially anxious about the financial well-being of our family if something was to happen to either of us. While our decision for Teresa’s to be available to our children as a stay-at-home mom is good for their overall well being, it would prove to be financially difficult if something happened to Jo. Teresa would not be able to tap into the Social Security benefit that a married partner would receive as a matter of course.
We are also worried about the over 1000 protections provided by marriage that are not afforded to us simply because we are lesbians and cannot get married. While we have had legal papers drawn up to protect our family, we know this is not the same as those protections afforded to legally married couples. We always take many of those papers with us on family trips, fervently hoping that if something does happen, the documents would be respected and we would not be denied hospital visitation or the ability to make medical and legal decisions in our family's best interests.
If we could get legally married, we would have all the protections afforded straight married couples. We would not have the unequal health care policy at Jo’s work, which does not allow Teresa to be part of the family group plan because we are not married. While we receive partial reimbursement for Teresa’s individual and less comprehensive policy that she had to secure personally, we must still pay taxes on the reimbursement amount unlike for married spouses.
Lack of access to these rights that straight married people take for granted make us second-class citizens and show the strong need for same-sex marriages. We are committed to this fight for our civil rights so that we can take better care for our family. We want the same protections for each other and for our 3 wonderful children that our straight friends get automatically when they marry. While we already celebrate our love and commitment to each other and our family everyday, we want the legal, civil protections afforded to straight Americans who make the same commitments that we do. We deserve it. Our children deserve it. It is a matter of fairness and justice. We look forward to the day when our children can walk us down the aisle for a marriage ceremony that not only publicly declares our love and devotion to each other but also allows us to provide our children with the same protections that their friends with straight married parents receive.
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