Family Spotlight:
Amanda and Susanne
Says Susanne:
I met Amanda at a dance to benefit the Whitman-Walker Clinic's Lesbian Services Program, an organization I respect very much for their work with people living with AIDS as well as the queer community in DC. I volunteered to help with the dance and when I arrived, the couple working the booth said they had it covered and suggested I meet people and encouraged me to ask someone to dance. I love dancing, but was feeling shy and inhibited; my new-found friends gave me some encouragement and a gentle push towards Amanda, who was watching the dancers from the sidelines as well. It was like a scene from the West Side Story, with dancers moving by us in slow motion - I asked her to dance and she said yes. We spent much of the night talking on the balcony and only realized several hours later that we had missed the entire dance - we had been so wrapped up in each other! It was a magical night and it set the tone for the joy of discovery to come.
"We knew from the beginning that we would be married and spend our lives together, despite the fact that we were both hesitant about the institution of marriage and all of the cultural baggage it carried for us as two women coming from divorced parents," said Susanne. "We also knew that by formalizing our union in Vermont but living in Maryland, that we wouldn't have the same benefits and rights as our married straight friends (and this year was the year for weddings - I was involved in 6 of them - all with purple bridesmaid's dresses!)
We also knew that by getting married now, we were - whether we wanted to or not - making a political statement about our relationship. For Amanda's birthday, we attended a rally on Capitol Hill the same day the Federal Marriage Amendment was defeated in the Senate. Political statement-making became not only acceptable to us, but vital for the GLBT community who is under attack and being used as an election-year political pawn. I found reading the news of the President's latest blunders to be so discouraging and also simultaneously invigorating.
Our friends that have never cared about politics at all are suddenly organizing and becoming involved in the political process, which gives me hope that Maryland can benefit from this public debate about people's rights as private citizens.
On the personal front - our ceremony was absolutely beautiful. We were married in an outdoor ceremony in Brandon, Vermont on October 2nd, 2004 and had an amazing weekend, touring around and taking in the glorious fall foliage. It struck me how ludicrous it is that we were married in Vermont and then got on a plane (where the captain made a public announcement congratulating us!) and when we got off in Maryland we were no longer married in the eyes of the law. I was also struck by the wedding planning that was involved in our marriage - not only did we have to hire a caterer and photographer, but we also had to hire a lawyer to make sure we were legally protected should one of us end up in the hospital, or worse. My friends asked us why would want to get married if it wasn't legal in Maryland and to us, the answer is simple - we are married to each other because our hearts are united. However, we sincerely hope that the law will catch up with the times, so that we can enjoy the same rights that our straight friends and family do.
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